he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
