I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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