..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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