i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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