im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
foreskin is a definite game changer
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
