so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
