fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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