would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
