i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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