Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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