but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
