Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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