If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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