So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
