Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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