every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
