I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
