I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
