I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
