come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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