i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
