She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Say something about gay babies.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
