He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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