I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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