of course. lets lasso hookers.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
