I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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