Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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