She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
