how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
