My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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