I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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