You're so nebulous sometimes
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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