No awkward lesbian experiences without me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't deserve a penis
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
