I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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