She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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