Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
