At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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