So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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