We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
