If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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