So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Green mimosas i think yes
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
