I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
