Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize