i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
