Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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