but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
