well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
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I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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