Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
