i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
