the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
