Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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