ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
