I wish I could teleport
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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