He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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