i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
