one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize