did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
