No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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