that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
