i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
