I hope mine doesn't look like that
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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