i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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